Rest in Peace

On Wednesday, August 24, 2011, a local police officer was killed in the line of duty.  This police officer was Justin Sollohub.  His murder shocked our small community, mostly because "stuff like that doesn't happen here."  As someone who knew Justin well enough through association with a lot of his co-workers but not very well enough to call a "good" friend, I was particularly surprised at how strong my grief was at the news of his death.  I was dumbfounded:  chills all day at work despite the 90 degree weather, heart pounding at every text I received of news on his condition, tears threatening to spill out from my eyes every five minutes.  I thought about every encounter he & I had ever had, and the last conversation we had together, two weeks before his death.  My heart shuddered when I thought of his sweet girlfriend's reaction to the news.

All of these things I still think about now, almost a week after his death.

The way in which people come together when a tragedy happens is beautiful, and the way our community has united over the past few days has brought tears to my eyes more than one time.  But with the connectedness of our community has also come those individual few who bring negativity to a tragedy, and this also brings tears to my eyes.  Conversations & arguments with those who disagree about the circumstances of Justin's death sadden my heart.  I guess it's just different when a tragedy strikes someone you actually know. 

Justin was one who knew the risk he was taking when he joined the police force.  He was someone who served & protected those same people who are now provoking the emotions of those suffering from his death. He was someone whose life only interacted with mine on occasion.

I can not even fathom the pain his mother feels.  I can't even begin to imagine the immense amount of pain his beautiful, sweet girlfriend is encountering.  I can't imagine how deeply his co-workers, his secondary family, must be mourning.  I just can't imagine the intensity of their suffering.

But what I can imagine is the pain that I feel from Justin's death.  As someone whose life was a mere pinprick in mine, Justin's death dumbfounded me.  His death made it more of a reality that those I DO know, those I  care about who serve and protect, can be taken at any given moment.  I never knew the silhouette of his life next to mine would affect me so much, but it has.  His death has affected me even more.

Rest in peace, Justin.