I want a doughnut. A glazed doughnut, which isn't my favorite, but it'll do. Or hell, why not just go with my favorite? Lemon-filled. Mmm, I can just taste its lemon goodness on my tongue. I just really want a huge fucking doughnut!!! Is that too much to ask?? YES! Because guys suck and don't want ugly fat girls. Or the guys that do want ugly fat girls are fat themselves and don't have jobs and don't treat a lady with respect and don't care what other people think about them and don't really care whether or not they have someone. Which is maybe the way I should feel, right? Well I don't. Because I suffer everyday from worrying about my role in society and blah blah blah fucking blah. So what if I gave into temptation and ate a lemon-filled doughnut? What if I stopped caring about my health and didn't exercise any more and gave into temptation every day, in every way, shape, form and fashion? What if I gained 400 lbs. and was happy because I eat and do whatever I want without worrying about the repercussions? Only then would I be happy, right? Wrong. Because then I'd be fat and miserable and alone and everyone would make fun of me because I'd need help going to the bathroom because I wouldn't be able to get my fat ass off of the couch. If only I had the metabolism where I could eat whatever I want and still regularly exercise and not gain any weight. Why can't it be like that? Why can't being healthy and fit have more than one reward? I mean, yeah, it's nice to have a sexy body, but if you try and try and try and keep trying and you still have the belly flab, why keep trying? I obviously don't have the money to get a tummy tuck, so why not just give in to what your body's been trying to convey to you the whole time? Screw feeling pretty and great after a workout. Screw depriving your body of the sweets it craves. Screw watching skinny people eat whatever the hell they want, torturing you all the while (never mind the fact that their insides probably won't last them too much longer). Screw you, temptation! I won't do any of that because I'm afraid of being ugly and alone. I want to be pretty enough and healthy enough to where I can choose who I want to date and not to where I'm just settling for whatever comes along. Because I want to be that person who has the first pick. I don't want to be the person that hopes just doing nothing will get them by in life. Better luck next time, temptation. You don't win. Meanwhile I'll just sit here and salivate over the doughnut I won't be eating.
After all, beauty must suffer, right?
i apologize if this sounds harsh, but you just insulted my friend crystal and i'm not one to idly stand by and observe that.
ReplyDeletegirl, get the fuck out of that mindset and then GET THE FUCK OUT OF ALABAMA! there are REAL MEN who exist who like women for who they are on the inside. who get attention for what they say and think, and not how they look. you are beautiful inside and outside - your appearance is for a WORTHY MAN to enjoy. don't waste your energy doing things that you think will make you attractive; you already are. you don't have to try. even if you gain 10 lbs, you'll still be beautiful. those little things DON'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE in your BEING. who you are, who god made you, is beautiful. at the end of the road, you're not going to say "i wish i hadn't had that donut", but if you keep this up you'll say "i wish i'd let me love myself as much as my friends do".
make beauty a part of your actions, and your perspective. don't think that you can make yourself any more beautiful than you already are. anyone with half a brain sees you for who you are on the inside (unfortunately most people in bumfuck don't even have half a brain)... so work on your beauty from the inside first. it'll show once you get comfortable with the little positive choices you make, and you won't even have to put on a dab of makeup. you are beautiful. you're a good mom, a good friend, and a gem amongst pebbles. you deserve that fucking donut. put it in your mouth before you let another ridiculous, self-deprecating thought enter your brain.
i love you, and not because you're pretty. but you are pretty, but that's NOT WHY I LOVE YOU.