208 days until my wedding. As the day draws closer, I'm getting those wedding jitters that I suppose every soon-to-be married person gets. House hunting, financial planning, etc. has set my brain whirling. I feel more of an adult now than I ever have in my entire life; yes, even more so than the day the hellion was born. These nerves will not get the best of me, however, because I plan on accomplishing everything I have my mind set to and then some. I've always prided myself on my determination, and I have no intentions on letting my pre-wedding jitters get the worst of me.
Which leads me to the reason I'm writing this blog:
I am determined. I always have been, and I always will be. I credit this to my parents and watching their struggle to raise four kids on a very limited income. While some may view my parents as weak, I view them both as strong and proud. I have picked up these attributes and additional attributes through the years. One such additional attribute is my love for exercising and staying fit through other various activities.
Today was the first day in a long time that I actually had a real workout. By "real workout" I mean one where I actually lifted weights instead of just going to the gym and doing stationary cycling for an hour so I could catch up on my reading assignments for school. While I enjoy stationary cycling and the chance to read uninterrupted for an hour whilst also doing a beneficial exercise for my body, my love for exercising has always been with free weights and challenging myself to improve and move up with the weights. I haven't had a chance to do a real workout lately because I've been so frazzled with school and work and most importantly, the hellion.
I am not one to put up with people whining about their problems. And by no means am I trying to toot my own horn here, but I've been going to school full time, working full time, and raising a kid for the past 4 years. In August, I acquired a second job. So yes, since August I've been working two jobs full time, going to school full time, and raising a kid. I've managed to keep all As during this time, and fortunately, both jobs allow me to have the same off days (Tuesday and Thursday, which just so happens to be the same days I have class from 9 A.M. to 2 P.M.), and on those off days, when the hellion and I get out of school, I make sure to spend quality time with him.
Needless to say, I'm EXHAUSTED. But I'm not an idiot; I know that I've chosen to put myself into this situation. Why? Well, because frankly, I'm an English major who has been working the same job throughout my high school and college careers, a job in the fast food industry for the past EIGHT years. Leave it to say that my resume isn't too impressive to most potential employers, despite the fact that I've had a consistent work history. So I went out and found another job, though not in my future career choice.
Now, I totally went off on a tangent to say this: with my hectic schedule, of course I had to let something go. First, it was my taekwondo classes. Then it was the gym, despite that I bought and paid-in-full a year's membership. Everything that had to do with my fitness and exercise was cut from my list. The weight I lost during the first half of the year slowly crept back into my body. It didn't help that I wasn't watching what I was eating. But then again, when you're on the go from sunup to sundown, it makes it harder to monitor your diet.
None of this was more evident to me than this past Saturday, when I had a bridal luncheon with my bridesmaids. We went to David's Bridal to order their bridesmaid dresses, and I got measured just for shits and giggles. My measurements on Saturday were 35 & 1/2 in the chest, 31 in the waist, and 38 in the hips. Not a big deal to some of you, but at my greatest healthy weight loss, I was down to a size 2. So I know that getting back down to a size 2 is not unreasonable. My body was healthy at a size 2 since I was working out constantly, and I felt more confident that I ever have in my life.
After I completely stopped working out in August, I talked with my friend Steven, who agreed to begin working with me at the gym in January so I could feel confident in my wedding dress for the wedding in May. Because of this agreement with Steven, I completely dismissed every picking up a free weight again--until January, that is. AND I WAS FINE WITH THIS PLAN. Why? Because I told myself that my crazy schedule didn't allow time for me to work out anymore. So I decided to wait until January to hit the gym full time (since graduation is in December and I plan on quitting my fast food job then also, I would have more time to dedicate to the gym). Well, the other day I was on the phone with Steven, who was once again giving me a pep talk about working out. He told me, "If you want to look good badly enough, you'll MAKE the time." This is coming from the guy who lost some 60 odd pounds in 35 weeks in order to train for a body building competition. (He won second in the competition, though I personally feel, from looking at the pictures, that he should have won first.)
So after Steven's words, and after my shocking body measurements from Saturday, I had a revelation. I CAN make the time, I just have been using my busy schedule as an excuse. So I've decided to stop making excuses and to get my ass back in the gym. Today I woke up early, for starting my day at the gym is my favorite way to begin the day, and I went to the gym and did a real workout. I've found my fitness determination again, and I don't plan on letting it go. Whether or not I get down to a size 2 is up to me, and I plan on at least losing a few pounds before the wedding in May.
I hope this blog post doesn't make me sound obnoxious. I know some people would feel that way by listening to someone complaining about not being a size 2. But I'm doing it the healthy way, just like I did before. See this post for proof. I know it can be done. I did it, and Steven lost all that weight (for body building competition purposes) in 35 weeks! It can be done. So the next time I want to complain about this, I'm going to read this blog post for inspiration. And let's not forget the endorphins sent to the brain after a good workout. It is a good probability that said endorphins are the reason I wrote this extremely long blog. So get out there and do it!
The point I'm making by saying all this is that you do what you have to
do. Some people have no determination to succeed in life, others, like
myself, do have that determination. And despite the odds stacked against them, they will do
whatever it takes, no matter how much sleep lost, to succeed.
I will do what it takes, the healthy way, in order to succeed in my life goals.
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