Lingering Still

As my move date draws closer, my nerves keep going haywire.  I've been much more lazy as of late.  Notice how I haven't mentioned the gym?  It's because I haven't been in over two weeks.  A friend of Tyler's whom I don't know complimented me the other day.  Her son goes to the same daycare as the hellion, and she said that I "look cute, like she goes to the gym."  That should motivate me to go to the gym, right?  For some reason it made me NOT want to go to the gym.  But I know that I can't not workout and be toned.  I work(ed) hard to look like this.  I need to keep it up!  LC has asked numerously to ride our bikes on the trail.  God knows the weather has been perfect lately to do just that, but I've come up with an excuse every time.

I've skipped class, opting to work/car shop instead.  I don't need the class, seeing as I've already graduated, but I'm thinking of changing my major to English with a minor in Spanish.  So I will need that class after all.  I just don't have time for that one hour class.  Gosh, I need motivation!  Since when did I not like going to school?  I love learning.  So why can't I motivate myself to go?  It's the end of the semester.  If anything I should be going now!

This morning I had a minor panic attack:  What if I don't get a job right away in Montevallo?  What if my rent is super high?  What if personal matters don't get resolved until much later than expected?  What if my new place doesn't have a washer & dryer?  Can I afford rent, a car payment, and a washer & dryer payment?  Let's not even think about daycare expenses.....

If I stay here, I can finish school at JSU.  I can continue living rent/utility free with my parents, or I can get a smaller, much cheaper apartment (than in Montevallo).  The money I've saved can go towards my car payment.  Or other personal matters I won't fix because otherwise I don't have the money.  Logan will be closer to family that can help when needed.  I will have a job (ugh) for another TWO years.

So what are the pros of moving again?  I haven't really been able to think of them lately...

A friend at work told me the other day, "For someone who hates change, you sure are making a lot of BIG changes at the same time.  But do you know what I've learned about people like you?  Change is GOOD for you.  I think you'll be able to do it, and do it well."

I just need all my friends to keep drilling that in my head:  I can do it.  I can do it.  I can do it.  I may have to struggle for a little while at first, but I can do it.  I can do it.

I can do it, right?