Busy bee

Class.
Gym.
Bank.
Tanning bed.
Paid my Victoria's Secret credit card.
Took the hellion to Gap to let him pick out a birthday present for his dad.
Went to Target and bought my friend Crissy a bunch of stuff for her baby shower next Sunday.

After dropping the hellion off at daycare this morning I spent the remainder of time left before class dancing and singing Dog Days are Over at the top of my lungs.  I wanted to feel rejuvenated.  I needed to feel rejuvenated.

But...

I didn't feel that, and I still don't feel it.  The only thing I can feel is my mind slipping, slowly retreating back to the place I was a few months ago when Casey and I split.  I don't like it.  I dread it.  I want to avoid it.  But how?

I've always done a pretty good job of staying busy and being on the go, ready to meet the day's challenge with all my strength.  But today at the gym while talking to Jamal I realized that that same reason may be why I've felt like this for the past week.  I can't see myself NOT being ready for the next; it's who I am--always always always ready for the next.  But maybe I need to take a break.  My constant going for the past six months has been fueled by the thought that if I slowed down, even for one second, thoughts of Casey would dominate and take over.  I guess it worked for a little while, but now I'm back to square one.  What do I do?

I exercise regularly.
I eat (relatively) healthy.
I pretty much quit drinking.  Of course I may have one or two drinks when I go out, but nothing near the amount I was drinking a few months ago.
I don't smoke cigarettes or do drugs.
I go out and do things, whether it be with my hellions or with my friends, when time and money allow.
I quit social networking.  (For some reason social networking adds to my stress.  Weird, I know.)
What else can I do?

For the past two weeks I've spent days at work wishing I were off to "enjoy" the beautiful weather with which Alabama has been graced.  But when I have an off day I'm so busy running around town finishing errands that I don't even get the chance to bask in the sunshine and slow my thoughts.

Sunset in Walmart parking lot. 02/24/11

Does this mean I need a vacation?  Probably.  Do I have the money to take a vacation?  No.  I want so very badly to take my hellion to the beach this year.  I would also like to take him to the zoo and to the museum for the Chocolate! exhibit and to visit his great-grandmother who hasn't seen him since he was two (maybe?) and to the TN Aquarium and IMAX theater and to so many other places.  And this isn't even including the stuff I would like to do with my friends, when I don't have my hellion.

Damn you, life!